Why one man plus one woman, and why marriage? I discuss this with Glenn T Stanton, Director of Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family and author of Secure Daughters, Confident Sons. His book approaches the male and female question from a secular evidence base. He says that to disregard the differences between men and women is to “disregard a fundamental truth of our own universal humanity”. I think you will value this conversation on why one man and one woman matter for children and for society. Watch our full discussion here.
Glenn starts with first principles. It should be obvious, he says, that all human beings “came from a male and a female” and are themselves either male or female. He rejects claims of any additional genders – “It does not happen in nature.” The confusion we now see is, he argues, culturally manufactured. Moreover, our proper development needs to be shaped by the influence of both a mother and a father.
Glenn explains that “Mothers build security and safety and comfort”, while fathers invite calibrated risk and an outward focus. He describes how, for example, mums and dads communicate differently, expanding children’s vocabulary and understanding of the world. In his view, these differences matter because each parent brings something essential the other cannot fully replace.
He also draws on evidence from highly egalitarian countries that have levelled the playing field between men and women. When free to choose, women tend towards people-focused roles, men towards things-focused roles. This divergence actually increases, not decreases, under greater equality. It’s evidence, Glenn says, that sex-based preferences are deep-rooted, not imposed. He points to large-scale studies from Nordic nations that confirm this gender-equality paradox.
That’s why, Glenn concludes, fatherhood anchors boys and dignifies girls. A father’s love, he says, teaches daughters to value themselves and not settle for less. Sons learn respect for women from watching their fathers treat their mothers with honour. Put bluntly, the current gender experiment is “failing miserably.”
Statistically, marriage is by far the best way of ensuring each child has access to their own mum and dad while they grow up. Of course, sometimes, it isn’t possible for a child to be raised by both parents. But the case for real marriage – doing all we can to keep mothers and fathers together – has never been more urgent. Marriage delivers the best outcomes for children, adults and society. One man and one woman give children both the security of mother and the boldness of father.
At C4M we campaign for this truth in public policy and culture. We also travel the country delivering marriage refresher sessions and running family conferences to strengthen marriages. Get in touch to book me for your church or community group. And while you’re at it, why not share the video with a friend, and help us bring about a better outcome for the next generation.