With just a week of summer left, it’s a good moment to think about what truly lasts. Few things endure like a strong marriage, and Jim and Mary Russell – long-time C4M supporters from Northern Ireland – know that better than most. Married for 54 years, their story is full of advice for anyone thinking about marriage or working to strengthen it. You can listen to their wisdom here.
Jim and Mary met as teenagers, married at 20, and raised seven children together through the turbulence of the Troubles. Today, they have 12 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. They describe marriage not as an easy ride but as a life-shaping commitment that demands perseverance. Our talk highlights how the determination to treat marriage as a lifelong promise gives couples the strength to endure the difficult times.
We hear how marriage rates among young people rise when friendship groups set the expectation. Mary explains, “When one couple decide to marry, even today, then a second couple decide to get married, it plants the idea in the others’ minds – that’s a nice thing to do.” We also note how younger generations are influenced by seeing marriage lived out in their homes, with friendship circles often following suit.
The exchange tackles tough truths. We discuss the fact that if you’ve had even one other sexual partner before you get married, the likelihood of divorce goes up 50%. Both Jim and Mary stress the importance of courtship, clear values and pre-marriage advice. Mary says, “Avoid resentment”, Jim adds “Never let the sun set on an argument”.
It is clear in the interview that marriage is not about perfection but perseverance. We reflect together that after decades of commitment a marriage can grow stronger, richer and more rewarding than ever before. Mary adds that the rewards lie in “the ordinary everyday joys” of shared life and family traditions. Their message to younger couples is simple: work at your marriage, build family rituals, and remember that difficulties are part of the journey, not the end of it.
At C4M, we champion real marriage because it gives children the best chance in life and provides men and women with a foundation of strength, joy and stability. Stories like Jim and Mary’s show why it matters so deeply that society recognises and promotes marriage.