COMMUNICATION IS KEY – MARRIAGE TIPS WITH MATT LOEHR
May 17, 2025
Back by popular demand on the C4M YouTube channel is Matt Loehr, President of Dare to Be Different Marriage Ministries. In the first of a four-part interview series, Matt provides invaluable insights into improving our marriages, with particular attention to verbal communication. Please do watch the full discussion with your wife/husband here.
Matt has trained 80,000 marriage mentors in 15 countries. He highlights four crucial intimacy areas often lacking in marriages: verbal, emotional, spiritual, and physical. “Physical intimacy is often a result, an outcome, to the formula of the other three”, he explains, urging men particularly to invest effort in these essential connections.
One significant barrier to effective communication Matt identifies is the difference in how men and women communicate. He notes that “women on average use 25,000 words a day, men on average use 7,000”. This disparity can create tension and feelings of isolation within marriage. He advises husbands to actively “ask your wife her opinion often and just listen”, underlining the importance of validating and understanding each other.
He also warns against harmful communication habits, urging couples to “disagree sparingly”, avoiding unnecessary arguments over trivial matters. Matt suggests men regularly say, “It would mean a lot to me if you would…” – a phrase he finds significantly more effective and affirming than criticism.
Matt emphasises the importance of commitment and persistence, reflecting, “There’s a deeper quieter love to be found in the second half of your marriage… just get there, folks.” He encourages couples to invest regular time in meaningful conversation without distractions, ensuring a strong foundation for lasting intimacy.
At C4M, we know that strong marriages make strong nations. Promoting the value of happy man-woman marriages is central to our mission. Conversations like this with Matt offer practical guidance and inspiration to build and sustain thriving marriages. Look out for the next three in the series, and reply to this message to request a similar session run by C4M for couples in your local area.
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“I support defining marriage as the voluntary union for life of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others.”