85% OF BREAK-UPS START HERE – FIX IT TODAY | MATT LOEHR

This week, Matt Loehr, President of Dare to Be Different Marriage Ministries, gives us the second in our four‑part series on building deeper intimacy in marriage. This episode focuses on emotional closeness, why it matters, and how to nurture it. Watch the full video here.
Matt explains that “around 85 per cent of divorce in America is initiated by women”, with emotional neglect or perceived abuse frequently cited. Emotional intimacy, he says, is achieved “when a woman feels understood”. Men often lack training in this area, so he offers simple, memorable tools: “shut mouth, hold wife” and, when words are necessary, ask: “What can I do for you now?”
Emotional investment also benefits physical and spiritual connection. In most marriages, Matt observes, “sex and physical intimacy is a result of verbal, emotional and spiritual intimacy”. He urges husbands to act as a “physician” in the home – asking daily, “How can I be a good physician to my wife today?” He adds the challenge, “Would she pick you today?” and underlines the importance of loving unconditionally, even when feelings run high.
Practical steps include being first to apologise, keeping voices low during disagreements and refusing the silent treatment. Visualising one’s shoulder as “a safe place” for a spouse’s head creates security. The aim is steady improvement: fewer rows, lower intensity, and deeper trust.
At C4M, the goal remains strong, lifelong, one‑man one‑woman marriage. Thank you for standing with those who champion it, and for taking these proven steps that keep love growing, for the good of families, communities and the nation.